What constitutes true friendship?

I think perhaps one of the few true friends I have ever had was Billy Neill. We did lots of things together when I was a kid, fishing, riding bikes, playing war, building forts, etc. And then he died of Leukemia when I was around 10 or 11. I wonder if that event subconsciously scarred me from being able to make really good close friends. I don't feel like I have any right now. I know lots of people and I see them and talk to them at gatherings like football tailgates or basketball games. I even have one or 2 people that I go to movies with on occasion or that may meet me at a club when a band is playing. That is the extent of my interactions though. Oh I send the odd text back and forth from time to time but never really more than that. I have met up with some for lunch but it is always part of a larger event and never ever one on one. I had another really good friend in college when I was single. I met Jim in the summer of 1988 just after I got home from my mission in Japan. We hit it off immediately and wound up as room-mates from spring of 1989 until I got married in fall of 1991. We did pretty much everything together, went to movies, concerts, sports events, dates. We had great long conversations about everything under the sun. But once I got married and moved out things changed of course and we no longer ran in the same circles. We keep in touch still of course but the dynamic has changed and we now live far apart. I have tried to make connections over the years with a number of different people trying to find someone else I could click with and do things with. I had a friend that I used to go to football games with for a number of years and we would go to movies and dinner with our wives and had a great vacation together. But inevitably things changed as they moved away and I started over again. After that I have had a few guys to play poker with or the occasional golf game and we would get together as families and do things on occasion as well. But then we moved away to Utah and started over once again. This time has proved to be the most difficult time of all. I did not know anyone and since I was a student when we moved here I wound up being much much older than all of my neighbors and my classmates. I eventually got connected with a group of Utah sports fans that have provided me an outlet to get together with people. I also got involved in making some movies here which expanded my number of people I could meet. But the true friends have been elusive. There are a number I have talked to through facebook or texting and some through the utefans online forum. But the interactions outside of those venues have been limited. Not for lack of trying mind you as I have invited people to go to movies or suggested getting together for lunch, or dinner. I have invited people to my home to watch sports and hosted Christmas and other parties and dinners. But most often the response I get is "for sure lets do that" or "I would love to come but let me check my---- first" and in most cases the end result has been that I wind up going to the movie by myself or only one or 2 people actually come for dinner, or lunch plans wind up canceled as the person invited can't make it. As a result I have largely stopped inviting people to do things with me. I have always made a point of doing my best to accept invitations and to show up on time. But lately it seems that those invitations have dried up also not that there were many to begin with. So it leaves me to wonder if perhaps my expectations are simply too high and that people do not have the type of friendships I had with Billy and Jim. But then I observe people I know going out to dinner and hosting and attending dinner parties. I hear of people going swimming and shooting or out dancing for the evening or to concerts and other events. In a few cases I have had my invitation declined and then I learn that the person invited went out and did something with someone else at the last minute because they "had no plans." And so here I am. I find myself generally feeling like an outsider since I am not from here. My political and social views are often at odds with the people here in Utah and more and more I find that my most friend-like interactions are with people I left behind in Canada. I find it hard to break into the long-established social groups and in some cases it feels like I am invisible watching the members of a clique do their thing together. Perhaps I should try harder and invite more and different people to do things with me but it often seems and feels so futile. I am not sure that I have met anyone in a long long time that actually "gets" me and understands me. Lots of people say they are my friends and tell me that they care but when I extend the invitation to do something with them it never seems to work out. And few if any of them have ever invited me to do things with them outside of some group get-togethers in which I just feel like another number or a face in the crowd. I certainly am grateful for the expressions of friendship that people have given me but I wonder if that is all there is for me here; just expressions that people are my friend. Is that what constitutes true friendship here? Or am I expecting way too much? I wonder.